TIGERS DON'T CRY - Chapter Eleven
In the harsh environment of a British pub kitchen, young Nate will have to come to terms with his growing attraction for one of his male colleagues.
TRIGGER WARNING - Strong and sexual language. Explicit sexual content.
For those curious to read from the start:
I texted Ethan at ten past seven as my cab stopped at the second bloody traffic light on the way, ‘Sorry I’m running a tad late.’
‘Yeah, no worries,’ He replied, adding a winking emoji.
Wow, he was proper chill. My stomach got all tight and achy I was so nervous. I wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans, closing my eyes as I tried to control my quickened breathing and the excited beats of my heart. Why was it like this? Ethan and I had hung out before – it’s not that I didn’t know what to expect in terms of… well. Everything.
But I was wearing new clothes – a style I didn’t usually vibe with at that – and I’d put on cologne, styled my hair and all. Ethan would know I cared about what he thought of me and the idea made my face heat and my heartbeat speed up. I was giving myself up, like.
When the cab finally arrived at my destination, I had barely regained my composure. I didn’t want someone else to show up at the door so I texted Ethan, ‘I'm outside’
Do I look alright? What if these clothes don’t suit me and I look like a twat! I began adjusting myself frantically.
Ethan opened up and, no surprise, he looked amazing. My heart skipped a beat.
He wore a blue shirt, the fabric falling softly on his waist – and a patterned, dark gray and white jacket. His hair was short enough to not need any special care aside from regular combing and a pair of light-grey jeans wrapped his lean legs in a way that got me all hot and bothered.
He greeted me with a brilliant smile, ‘Hiya Nate.’ Ethan’s gaze travelled over me – he took me in like he was marvelled.
My cheeks heated under his scrutiny and I lowered my head, ‘Alright?’
I knew he’d come close to me but I stubbornly stared down at the patchy concrete in his front garden instead of his face.
‘You look great,’ he spoke close to my ear in a husky voice.
‘You too,’ I mumbled.
A warm hand touched my face and, when our eyes met, I forgot things like my name and what year it was. He bent down to kiss me and I inevitably melted.
Oh, I missed this so bad! It’d been too fucking long but finally, here he was, brushing his lips to mine and sneaking the tip of his tongue between my teeth. Eagerly, I joined the dance by tasting his heat and breathing in his spiced aftershave.
I didn’t know what to expect in terms of how this date would start but making out desperately for five minutes straight in front of his house was an unexpected option.
When we eventually separated, our noses touching and our eyes locked, Ethan looked like I felt: dazed and confused. I’d been clinging to him all along, I now realised. In fact, I’d slipped my arms around his neck to bring him close. His hands were positively stroking my butt and mine roaming under his clothes.
‘Fuck,’ he murmured.
He swallowed thickly, ‘I said no sexual stuff and this is the first thing we do when we see each other? ’
I kissed his lips again, just because I could and mostly because it was tempting, ‘Not my fault you set these stupid rules, innit?’
He closed his eyes, sighed and pressed his mouth on my neck, ‘You’re unfair, mun. Fuck, you’re so…’
Before I could growl at him, ‘Not the C word!’ he breathed out, ‘…you’re beautiful.’
I didn't know what to say in response and stayed quiet but Ethan didn’t seem to care. He was too busy nuzzling my throat and kissing my skin in that noisy way of his. I listened to the popping, wet sounds.
My cock was filing an official complaint at me. These new trous were tight as fuck and my dick hard, throbbing and desperate for release. If Ethan did as little as to stroke it over the fabric, I was going to spurt in my pants. One-hundred per cent guaranteed!
He sighed and sighed again, ‘I’m waiting for my cock to go down before we head out.’
‘I can help with that,’ I said.
I grinned up at him, ‘You know how this date is going to end, right?’ I reached down to his crotch and felt the shape of his dick with only the length of his jacket and our nearness hiding my hand. I rubbed it right there, in the open – heart pounding as I dared to do something so out of character.
Ethan hissed softly and bit his lip. ‘No,’ he murmured. He enfolded his fingers over mine, stopping my keen exploration. ‘I’m going to open all the doors for you if you keep up with this. I'll be your personal fuckin doorman, mun.’
My cock pressed against my pants painfully. ‘We could compromise,’ I pulled his jacket towards me and he lowered his head so that I could whisper in his ear. ‘I’ll let you open a couple of doors for me if you let me suck your cock and cum in my mouth.’
Ethan exhaled a shaky breath on my neck and gripped my hips. He shook his head slowly, bit his lip again and closed his eyes. ‘God, Nate.’ He pressed his palms against his lids, ‘Let’s go out, alright? Jesus…’
He walked around me and shoved his hands in the jacket’s pockets, striding towards town. I hurried behind him, a little pouty that my blunt advances didn’t sway him.
The sun was already off. It had clocked out and given us the finger as it drooped out of sight, sinking into a thick swish of cobalt clouds. A blue evening enveloped Ethan’s profile, eyes looking straight ahead. Hadn’t I known he was struggling to hide his boner, I would have thought he was pissed at me, though maybe he was a little annoyed that I teased him like that. Our agreement to keep things non-sexual was rickety, to say the least.
I didn’t understand why he wanted to stop nature from taking its course. I was getting the hang of flirting with him – once again, my Reddit friends had been very helpful, dropping tips on what to say to Ethan to lead him into temptation.
I could tell he was worked up by my words and I kept my eyes on him, watching his shifting expressions. To think that I could make someone look so flustered with my dirty talk was crazy. Me. Natey. Everyone’s little butty.
‘Slow down mun,’ I said.
Ethan was almost running along the pavement. I went for his arm and grabbed it. He stopped and looked at me, ruffled like he’d stepped into a whirlwind.
‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘I’m like… I want to get this right. I told you, I don’t want to be your fuck buddy. I don’t care for that and it’s not… it’s not that I don’t want to have sex with you. I mean, the opposite, just…’ he ran a hand down his face. ‘This happens a lot to me.’
The wind blew over us, chilly and wettish as if the weather was blowing a raspberry. ‘I get into these flash-sex things. I meet someone and we fuck a lot and I want something more and they don’t. End. I’m just a cock to ride, like.’ He huffed a chuckle. ‘My libido doesn’t help, mind. People think sex is what I am after all the time. I was a bit of a slag a couple years back, maybe that’s why. My reputation fucking precedes me. Dunno if I get attached too fast or something, but no matter how much I want it, it never lasts.’
I looked at him. Just… looked. There was a slight bump on his nose, brought out by the street lighting in the quiet neighbourhood. He bent his head, deep-set eyes cast in shadow and tongue moistening the lips. The night was eating away at everything – darkness swallowed Miskin Street little by little and draped the angular shapes of the roofs.
He exhaled, ‘I’m fucking things up, innit.’
‘No mun, you ain’t.’
‘I’m supposed to play it cool.’
He shrugged. ‘My mates. I get too excited about these things, apparently.’
‘Dating, relationships and all.’
I was wrong. He wasn’t chill at all. In fact, maybe he was more nervous than I was. Ethan wouldn’t meet my eyes – he was more interested in the laces of his shoes.
‘You know I’m into you quite a bit? I mean it.’
‘Are you really?’
‘I got all dressed up for this, come on. I was late cause I went to buy these clothes. I didn’t have anything nice to wear.’
He smiled at me then, ‘Aww, really? To impress me, is it?’
I grunted, ‘Yeah well don’t flatter yourself now.’
He hugged me and it was nice. Warm.
‘You smell good,’ he said.
I took a deep sniff of his chest. ‘You too mun.’
When we joined our hands to walk it came natural. It had to happen, like. I wasn’t sure how I felt about people seeing me with a guy. It was a bit strange but whatever. I was doing this and, like Louis had said, I didn’t do things half-arsed. And I liked it.
I liked the way he looked at me, as if he was fond – always a moment away from a kiss, a hug or a sweet word. People didn’t see me most times but Ethan did and it was special. I wanted to keep it dear.
Grey and brown houses witnessed our passage as we exchanged little words. Their white windows were the eyes surveying us – guys overdressed for a street meant for fine living and not for fun loving. Ethan told me about his stressful morning and asked me how I could cope for so long working in the pub.
I shrugged, ‘It’s life, innit.’
‘It’s not though,’ he said vehemently. ‘You can do better than that. Some people make do and can be happy either way but not you, Nate. You shouldn’t make do because you have more to give.’
I studied his face, ‘You think too highly of me.’
He smirked, ‘Maybe it’s you thinking too little.’
I laughed at that. Ethan squeezed my hand and I wanted to stop and kiss again.
We were going down the metal stairs that crossed over Cathays Station when I said, ‘I told my brother, you know.’
Ethan looked surprised, ‘About us?’
‘He asked me her name. Of my date, like.’ I smiled up at him.
He laughed, ‘Ow shit! Did you say Ethan?’
I nodded and grinned, ‘Yep.’
‘Fuuck...’ He chuckled awkwardly. ‘Was he… OK with it?’
‘I’m sure he will be. My brother’s nice. I kinda left the house as soon as I told him. Wonder if he choked on his drink.’
Ethan laughed again, heartily, ‘Oh God! Does he know I’m the guy who did his tattoo?’
‘That’s going to be a weird one to explain!’
We coasted to Gorsedd Gardens, heading for the exciting corners of town and the first peeps of pubs and activity instead of sidling down the underpass. I had no change to give to the homeless guys right now anyway.
I found it odd how sometimes turning the corner was like stepping into another city. First you had dull walls, brittle paint and trash on the pavement, gateless houses and abandoned bicycles. Life was a “carry on” there. You went an inch further and suddenly them homes were pretty, architecture that shouted “respectable,” surrounded by well-kept parks and big trees – the pride of fuckin Britain.
Ethan and I carried on walking hand in hand and, call me daft, but I was happy like I hadn't been for a long time. Freaked out a bit? Sure. I found myself glancing around to check if people were looking at us. A bloke or two gave us a quick frown and turned away immediately. Others smiled kindly. Most didn’t see us at all.
We reached Queen Street and the night was ours. The merry-go-round near Costa shone joyously, playing its sing-song as people strolled back and forth like a bank of two-legged fish, colourful and variegated, somewhat trudging aimlessly but grinning ahead.
‘Where would you like to go babes?’ Ethan asked, speaking a bit loud because it was noisy all around.
‘To eat, like?’
‘Yeah. I didn’t book anything cause like, it’s Thursday. Places are not too busy.’ He grimaced, ‘Maybe I should have.’
‘Nah, it’s cool. I’m not fussed, honestly.’
He chuckled, ‘Let’s at least try to make it a date. Some romance is needed or something.’
I sputtered, ‘I’m not into all that gallant shit though.’
Ethan laughed. ‘I thought, “If I book a restaurant he’s not going to like it.” Like, you’d find it patronising. Even asking “should I book?” would be something you wouldn’t want to hear. Am I wrong?’
I gave him a vague nod, ‘Good point. You really do get me.’
‘Mun, it’s not that I’m trying to be “the man” anyway. Shit, I just want to impress you cause I like you.’
‘Yeah well. It’s not too hard to impress me.’
He shook his head, ‘I think it’s very hard to impress you.’
‘Alright,’ I sighed. ‘I want meat.’
He snorted, ‘What, steak?’
‘A burger, dunno.’
‘What about burrito?’ He grinned.
We ended up joining the moving crowds, becoming part of the city life and its sparkle, seeking delight like everyone else. Ethan led me inside the St David’s Shopping Centre and our hands stayed joined as we walked under the lit vaults and passed window after window.
I knew where he was taking me – an eatery which was nothing classy and that’s why it was perfect. We sat on plastic chairs and ate messily and it was great.
‘This is my gig,’ I said proudly with a full mouth as I reached for my Fanta.
‘Maybe you are easy to impress,’ Ethan said. He took large bites of his burrito and, don’t know why, but the movements of his jaw got me hard. Every now and then my cock half-sprung to life just by looking at him. The knowledge that, if not tonight, certainly soon, he was going to put that mouth on my naked body struck me at unexpected moments and my body grew hot even if there were so many people around us. He might suck me all up like he had done before, even swallow my load. I wondered if he’d eat me out too, put his face on my arse and lick my hole like some guys did in the lewd videos I’d been watching recently. I imagined him doing it to me.
‘You listening?’ Ethan smiled. He’d been talking about something to do with his food and I’d zoned out.
‘Sorry I uh… I was thinking about something.’
He shook his head and smirked knowingly, ‘Let me guess. Dirty stuff?’
I rubbed my forehead, ‘Maybe.’
He chuckled, ‘Are you that same guy that got all freaked out last week? Although I guess, after you get over your block, all you want to do is try new things out, innit?’
There was an uncertain note in his voice and I felt I should clarify, ‘I have the hots for you, mun, not for all the guys. Or girls. I don’t trust people that easy. When you said that thing about you introducing me to your horny friends? It hurt, you know. I’m not like that.’
He gazed at me, ‘For real?’
I nodded slowly, ‘Yeah. I'm not that easy to get and you got me, like.’
After dinner we went to the club, as planned. We got inside Pulse. Shocks of black and bright colours alternated. Music blasted its beat and dancers swayed, grinned, laughed and turned, frozen in time in those seconds we could glimpse them. We became part of the picture and, in the dark, my heart raced. The atmosphere had shifted and we couldn’t stop things from blooming, from enveloping us. The want weakened me at the joints and as I looked up at Ethan on the dance floor, our arms sliding keenly around the body of the other, I saw in his eyes that he was lost too.
Pulse danced and Ethan and I merged our mouths in passion, cutting off the rest of the world. We were trying to get into each other’s clothes in a place where we couldn't do it as much as we wanted. My fingers clutched at his hair, at his arse. Like a famished being, I groped and felt because there was no other way I could be sated. Ethan was the same. At some point he’d unbuttoned my jeans to loosen the fabric and allow his hands to sneak inside my boxer shorts, knead my arse and press me against his groin.
Our puffs and pants drowned into the loud sounds but I could feel his quickened breath on my neck and face when he frantically kissed me. He’d slow down to tease me with tiny movements of his tongue that made my cock throb.
We rocked against each other and he murmured in my ear, ‘Oh, fucking hell. I’m going to cum in my fuckin pants now in a minute.’
Ethan and I had moved to a hidden corner without thinking much about it. Truth was that we wanted an excuse to touch and we didn’t give a shit about dancing. We didn’t even go to the bar to get a fucking drink. Instead, we swooped into the throng of clubbers to hide to others and to ourselves the fact that, really, had we been alone we would have been fucking. Weak and achy, I pushed my pulsing cock against his thigh.
I spoke in his ear in a moment when the music was a little subdued, ‘I don’t give a shit if you open all the doors for me. Take me home and fuck me.’
Ethan groaned, ‘I don’t want to rush things for fuck’s sake.’
‘It’s too late for that and you know it.’
He led me outside, pushing through the moving bodies like we were swimming out of the ocean. Outside it was chilly. Some tired dancers hang out under the wide parasols by Pulse’s front doors to smoke a cigarette and chat, speaking at a crazy volume because their hearing was muffled after listening to the blaring music. Ethan put an arm around my shoulders and steered me further away, where loud conversations became murmurs.
We stood by a wall where slices of shadow hid half of Ethan’s face. In the dim light that raked through the blackness, his eyes shone with indecision. ‘If I take you home you must promise me something.’
The “take you home” part registered quickly in my mind and my heart hammered in response. Also, my cock twitched.
‘Yeah,’ I replied, my jaw dangling with hope.
Ethan jittered, ‘Don’t run off. If you want to stop or you’re not sure if something is up your street, you have to say it. I might think you’re enjoying yourself and what if I’m wrong? What if you’re hating it and I don’t know it? I'd prefer to hang out and cuddle rather than have you walk away because you pushed yourself too far.’
He would be reluctant to give the sex another go, obviously, seeing our precedents. Then I thought of something, ‘You want to cuddle?’
He lowered his gaze, ‘Yeah, so what? I’m a cuddly guy, is that a crime?’
‘No, it’s not a crime.’ I pinched the collar of his shirt and stood on my toes. Ethan met my eyes and kissed me slowly – hot, wet and sweet.
‘I won’t bolt,’ I said against his lips.
‘Alright.’ He smiled softly, ‘Cab?’
We walked down St Mary Street, our shoes tapping on the paved road. People flocked to the core of the party life – drunken grins, reddened cheeks and naked, weather-immune legs invading town as far as the eye could see. Everyone was going out out, ready to break their limits and drink until there was only a sack of meat on a bench and a pool of puke left behind. Ethan and I were leaving but that didn’t mean we weren’t about to challenge our boundaries too. In fact, in all fairness, what we wanted to do many might never dare to try out.
While we waited for the cab, I shivered a bit. The wind was bloody freezing and I could have done with a coat.
‘You cold?’ Ethan asked.
‘I’m alright.’ I shuddered and Ethan clicked his tongue.
‘Come here.’ He held me close to his body, putting the folds of his jacket on my back and I was there, my face against his chest. I breathed his warmth. His arms went around me and Ethan began kissing my head, sneaking his nose through my hair.
‘Mun,’ I murmured.
‘This a cuddle?’
Well fuck me, I didn’t hate it. He was warm and smelt good and I could rub my stiff cock on him as we waited for our ride.
I wiggled against his leg and Ethan chuckled deep in his throat, ‘You really like teasing, don’t you? You’re driving me insane, you are.’
In response, I prodded his cock and Ethan hissed his pleasure and laughed. He took my left hand and studied the sutured wound, ‘Does it hurt?’
‘It’s a bit sore. I can’t stretch my fingers too much, like, cause the stitches pull.’
He brought it to his mouth and brushed his lips gently on the meaty area on my palm. I watched mesmerised as he pecked it. Ethan met my eyes and went on kissing my hand, then stooped to kiss me, slip his tongue over mine. I entered a strange trance, lulled by the sweetness of that moment. Never was I held like this. Nobody had ever cared to keep me.
The cab arrived and the driver told us things. ‘Did you have a good night? It’s quiet for me.’ ‘Mind if I keep the music on?’
Ethan answered with monosyllables and mumbled words. In the dark offered by the night that seeped into the backseat, he held my stitched hand gently and stroked my fingertips. The driver dropped us and I got out ten quid to pay him before my date could.
Standing in front of Ethan’s house, the roof and the gateless front garden clad by shadow, I asked, ‘Manny in?’
‘I hope not,’ Ethan said. ‘He’s going to do my head in.’
I frowned, ‘Why?’
He gritted out a smile, ‘Not sure I should say this.’
He waved a hand in a vague gesture, ‘He said to keep you at an arm’s length because you don’t seem to be too sure about what you want from this. Like, you’re trying things out with a guy for your own gain and that’s not the kind of person I need.’
I gaped, ‘The fuck!’
Ethan smirked, ‘Looking at you, I know it’s not true.’
‘Fuck no it’s not true! And I met him today!’
He blinked in surprise, ‘Have you actually?’
‘Yeah like, when I went to buy clothes he was there and he and his friend helped me to pick an outfit because I’m shit at it. I mean, his mate did that mostly.’
Ethan raised an eyebrow, ‘What mate?’
‘This Connor guy.’
Ethan’s expression darkened, ‘Oh yeah? What did he say?’
‘He said loads. Mostly stuff about clothes.’
Ethan unlocked the main door and gave me his back so I couldn't see his face but his voice was hoarse, ‘I mean about me. What did he say?’
‘Not much. Just that he doesn’t work with you.’
Ethan snorted and pushed the door open, ‘He’s right about that.’
Suspicious much? ‘Is he your ex like?’
In a similar way as Connor had done that afternoon, he huffed a laugh and said, ‘Fuck no.’
Bad blood. Whatever. Not my business.
We got inside and it was dark and quiet. Ethan stopped by the stairs to listen to the silence, trying to pick up a sound. There was nothing.
‘Mh. I think he must have gone to his house. I think they’re fucking,’ he said to the air.
I stepped next to him, ‘Manny and Connor?’
Ethan shrugged, ‘Want a drink?’
‘Later.’ I hooked a finger on his trousers and drew him towards me. The atmosphere grew thick and my head light.
In the unlit room we touched. I ran the back of my fingers up the flat of his stomach and let the tip of my tongue glide on his slowly. He sucked my lips and exhaled, gripping me firmly and dipping onto my mouth. A buck lapping at the surface of a river.
‘Wanna go upstairs?’ He whispered.
‘Mun, why you even asking?’
Ethan chuckled and took my hand. He turned on the light and we climbed the creaky steps. His room was like I remembered it – a tidy mess. The samurai duvet was there too.
Our clothes came off quickly. Ethan unbuttoned his shirt halfway and pulled the rest over his head to save time. In a few moments it was like a banquet of skin to die for, chests rising and falling with the ragged breaths leaving our hungry mouths. Warm, smooth planes to explore lay under my hands, dips and slopes like uncharted places – the black lines were the untrod paths I was going to walk on and the bright colours, the growling tiger and the hissing dragon the beasts I was going to tame.
Sometimes you’re so horny you become brave, or maybe bravery has nothing to do with it. It’s just that if you don’t act upon your wishes when the occasion is there, right in front of you, you physically hurt. And my cock was throbbing real bad. More than anything, I wanted his dick deep into my mouth, my cheeks stuffed with his hard meat and soon enough flooded with hot cum. I wanted it more than I could say.
I’d been licking and sucking his nipples and working his cock for a while. I’d had him whimpering and gasping cause I was stroking his dick good, like it was my top priority in life.
‘Sit on the bed,’ I told him.
He flumped on the samurai duvet with eyes glazed with lust as if I was a fucking wizard casting sex spells on the man. I knelt on the carpet and grabbed his cock, stiff and gorgeous in my fist, and sucked it up in earnest. Noisy and wet, I slurped and gobbled the length – loving the feel of the smooth tip on my tongue. I lapped eagerly at the hole on his cockhead. Spurt up, little hole. Give it to me.
Ethan’s cheeks and chest flamed. Eyes closed, he chanted, ‘Fuck, oh fuck,’ caressing my hair like he was petting a cat.
‘I want it,’ I said between slurps. I snarfed on his cock again, gagging on it and loving it. Fuck, I loved it. ‘Come in my mouth mun. Please, fuckin do it.’
He threw his head back, panting. Ethan put both hands on my head and rocked into my mouth. He was absolute hard now. The blood had filled his cock to the brim and his movements became frantic, his breaths haggard. I was being pretty slutty by taking cock down my throat like this, I vaguely thought, but I was powerful too and I didn’t care if his cum tasted weird. I wasn’t sure I would register the flavour as I blew off with the wind like a little feather.
Ethan gasped and moaned messily and finally he creamed in my mouth. Fucking finally. It was hot and salty and whatever. The moment his jizz touched my tongue I leaked precum like a desperate. I milked him with my fist and swallowed and licked. My heart drummed and my soul sang.
‘Holy fucking Christ! Mmm…’ Ethan gripped his dick, shuddering, and squeezed out the last drops which I diligently lapped up. He looked at me like I’d broken him beautifully – just the right way.
He helped me on the bed and hugged me close to his chest, ‘Nate, babes.’ He kissed me and fitted his body between my legs.
I was obviously close to exploding although, as he went to stroke me, I stopped him and said, ‘I want you to do what you did last time.’
He bit his lip lightly, ‘What did I do?’
‘You know… with your fingers.’
Ethan ran a hand down his cheek, ‘Ah, that.’ Indecision was there again, gnawing at him. He thought I was going to freak out.
‘There’s something I have to tell you,’ I said, interrupting his worried flow. ‘I uh… I bought a dildo two days ago and I tried it out.’
Ethan’s eyes got big with surprise, ‘Yeah?’
I nodded, ‘I fucked myself with it imagining it was you doing it.’
He stared at me, ‘Fuck.’
‘I came really hard. I didn’t even have to stroke my cock much.’ There, on your table.
‘Right.’ Ethan took a deep breath and let it go in a burst. ‘That changes things.’
I put my hands under my head like I was sunbathing and smiled up at him, ‘I know, right?’
‘You want me to finger you, babes?’
‘As well as other things.’
The corner of his mouth lifted, ‘What other things?’
I raised my head to speak into his ear, ‘I want you to eat me out and fuck my tight hole.’
Ethan rocked against me like a stray wave, lost onto my shore. His cock got hard again and I was proper thrilled.
‘OK then,’ he said hoarsely. ‘I’ll give you what you want.’
He opened the drawer of his bedside table and got out a bottle of lube – a different one from last time. It was something fruit flavoured with a yellow cap. He squirted a big amount on his palm. ‘Lift your legs for me?’
I did. I also grabbed a pillow and shoved it under my lower back, brought my knees up and held them close to my chest. I was open like a church.
Ethan huffed a chuckle and lowered himself. His head was between my thighs, his navy eyes peeking over my balls. My dick twitched and I chewed on my lip, hoping he’d get on with it quickly.
He put his mouth on my cock, hot and moist, tongue sleek like heaven. With his lubed fingers he circled my hole. He teased it slowly, pressing on my ring of twitching muscles. I dropped my head on the pillow and groaned. He laughed softly and encircled my dick with his warm hand and I instantly knew that I wouldn’t last if he kept stroking it.
‘Not… not my cock. I’m going to come if you touch it.’ My voice got all soft and pleading, like it wasn’t mine.
Ethan grinned and let go of my leaking knob to lick my arsehole instead. The feel of his lips brushing and sucking there was so good that I lost it, letting out a moan not to be proud of. Or maybe to be proud of. In any case, it made him laugh and I pushed his head down with my heel, ‘Eat me up you dickhead.’
He did and enthusiastically so, prodding my hole with his tongue and spitting on it, cleaning it well.
I placed my soles on his shoulders and played with my nipples as Ethan gave me a damn sweet service. My arse was all wet and soft when he put in the first finger.
‘Yeah… fuck.’ I incited him. Ethan jabbed my hole with his finger and my thoughts fogged like one of those lazy days in summer, when it’s hot but it also rains. I grew hot all over and the faster he sunk in me, the more I was unleashed like a wild thing. He licked my balls and sucked on my shaft. His finger rammed me hard and deep to the knuckle. He moved it side to side, rubbing my God spot and I gasped out a moan.
Ethan stretched me and put in another finger. Blood pumped in my ears at the feel of him. It was uncomfortable, it stung but I was so overtaken by it all that the pain became part of the pleasure. Now he was fucking my hole with two fingers and, to my astonishment, I was close to cumming like a thirsty slut without even touching my cock.
I’d wondered, after using the dildo, what it was that made it feel so amazing. I'd asked Dattoy what he knew about it. He’d suggested that men don’t generally think of penetration as something they ought to experience. Since we have cocks, guys often come to the conclusion that we are the fuckers and that’s it.
So when a man gets fucked is like a sports car set to reverse at a high speed, shooting backwards into the unknown. It’s a bewildering thrill. I’d had to check what bewildering meant in the dictionary.
‘And even though it’s not wrong and we rationally know it, because society castigates this practice behind closed doors there’s always that awareness that, by taking it up the ass, we are breaking protocol. You see, anal is not a gay prerogative by any means.’
‘It’s not?’ Dattoy was so knowledgeable.
‘No,’ he’d sent a smiling emoji. ‘I get pegged by my girlfriend as well as ride my boyfriend’s cock. And I fuck them up the arse both quite often. You see? The possibilities are many, my young friend.’
I saw. Dattoy was a fuckin guru.
‘S-stop.’ I put my hand on Ethan’s.
He’d retracted his tongue which was lapping at my crown and I’d been seeing stars as he teased me, ‘Too much?’
I was panting, ruggedly so. After swallowing with a dry throat, I blurted, ‘Fuckin put your cock in!’
It was a blunt, cutting request. I wanted it bad and now he knew it but if there was something I’d learnt was that Ethan was giving.
He smiled, ‘Alright, babes.’
Ethan opened the drawer again and plucked out a condom, opened the packet and slid the jhonny on expertly. My eyes were glued on the nimble movements of his fingers, on the stiffness of his cock. He settled between my legs, pointed his cock to my hole and pushed. I bit back a whimper.
Like with the dildo, the stretch burned like fuck but, as my butt muscles clenched around his length, a flood of staggering sensation pinned me. Ethan inched inside me bit by bit until he was fully settled. For a time he didn’t move and all there was was the rhythm of my panty breaths.
‘Fuck, you’re so tight Nate.’ He said it sweetly and a tad achy.
He lowered himself over me and did the thing that I needed. He fucked me.
Slow at first and then faster, harder. He was steady and inevitable like the passing of time. It was good. So good. My arse was full of him, containing his cock barely.
Everything in me lit like starlight, burning bright and beautiful. I embraced the galaxy of nerves that were brought to life in unison as sounds freed themselves from my ribcage.
‘Are you often on guard, Nate?’ Dattoy had asked a few days ago.
‘I think so. I don’t trust people.’
‘Maybe you need to find someone to trust or, at least, to let that guard down for once. It’s damaging, after a while, to deny expression to some sides of ourselves and let only a small part show to the surface. Sometimes it’s OK to stop fighting, to sit back and let go. Let the sunlight through your window.’
I gripped Ethan’s shoulders and peered into his eyes. He was giving me a gift and had no idea.
‘Nate,’ he said hoarsely, ‘If you keep moaning like that I won’t last three seconds.’
‘I wish you’d come inside,’ I said quietly, not believing it was me talking. ‘I’d be hot.’ He whimpered shakily and pounded me. I drew his face towards mine, ‘Your cock feels so good.’
His kisses were a flow of wet wonder, a point of contact that told us we could slip further into us. I grew soft like a sheet of gelatine underwater and his cock harder, his thrusts deeper and the feel of him divine.
I came. He fucked the cum out of me, he did. My dick had been painfully stiff for ages and my balls tight. Now, they surrendered to it all. I fountained and dripped all over myself, my cock swaying in time with Ethan’s thrusts.
‘Fuck, ohhh! Ohhh!’ I cried out.
My phone rang from far away, somewhere on the carpet from under the pile of discarded clothes. I didn’t care for anything outside of our world – everything aside from Ethan and the bed was not part of my planet. A thing of no importance, it was. The ringing.
Ethan groaned and slammed into my pulsing arse. Low, drawn-out moans accompanied his orgasm. He stiffened and jerked, slid off of me and massaged his sheathed dick with his eyes squeezed shut. He removed the condom then, knotted it and dropped it on the floor.
He lay next to me and put his arms around my body. We didn’t speak as my phone went on ringing, ringing. Nobody rang me that long. Ever. We stared into each other’s eyes. I couldn't move I’d been so well fucked. Ethan was spent too.
We kissed slowly and hugged and still we didn’t speak. We lacked the words. The phone rang on in a distant call. Ethan caressed my face with a finger, running it along my cheekbone, chin, nose and eyebrows as if he was drawing a map of my features.
The ringing stopped.
‘You didn’t bolt,’ he whispered.
‘Told ew I wouldn’t.’
His lips curved in a smile, ‘What about now?’
He cleared his voice, ‘I’d prefer you told me if this is it.’
My heart ached unexpectedly. I touched his face, ‘Mun, I ain’t leaving like.’
Ethan sighed, ‘I like you.’
‘I like you too. Stop looking miserable now, yeah?’ I kissed him. ‘Tell you wha. Give us a couple wipes. I’m gloopy all over.’
I got myself clean while Ethan went downstairs to get us some cider he had in the fridge. Only then I went to check on my phone. There was a long-ass message. From Cam.
‘Just wanted to say I am sorry about what happened butt. Lately has been shit, I must admit. I got stressed and I took it out on you and that’s not fair. You know, the boys are tough and kind of narrow minded. We are simple tbh but you better get yourself out of this job as soon as you can Nate OK? It’s no place for you. I can see you hate it and I had to say something. I had to. It’s hard work in the pub, I can attest. You young, smart. I needed to tell you. Get out as fast as you can. It wears you down, it really does.’
Fuckin weird. Cam was no sentimental. Maybe he was drunk?
‘Cheers mate no need to worry honestly. I’m tougher than I look. I can handle it.’
He didn’t reply and I shrugged it off.
Ethan came back, awesomely naked and smiling wide. ‘There babes,’ he handed me the drink. I slipped on my t-shirt and boxer shorts and Ethan put on some jogs.
‘Gotta tell you something mun,’ I said. ‘I’ve never seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.’
He gasped, ‘You wha? We’ve gotta remedy that!’
Ethan set up the small telly he had in his room and in moments we were cwtching on the bed and watching Johnny Depp tripping balls. This boyfriend thing was alright, actually. Very alright, like. Awesome. I forgot about Cam, the weird text and the ringing. I was busy living the life.